Full of traditions and customs, Indian weddings have a reputation for being beautiful celebrations and they live up to that reputation. Complete with gorgeous decorations and clothing, symbolic rituals, live music, dancing and delicious food, Indian weddings are indeed incredible celebrations. Without further ado, here is a comprehensive guide to Indian weddings.
Pre-Wedding Events
When it comes to Indian weddings, the wedding day is not the only time for celebrating. There are several traditional events that come before the wedding day, including Sangeet and Mehndi. These traditions serve as a way for the family and friends to get to know each other before they join together on the big day.
It’s also important to know that Indian weddings tend to be more than just a ceremony and a short meal. Along with a co*cktail hour, ceremony and reception, the celebration can go on for two or even three days. Weddings are seen as huge, celebratory affairs and they are treated as such.
Indian Engagements
Indian engagements are typically accompanied by discussions and agreements between the bride and groom’s families. It’s very important for the families to get to know each other before the union. The wedding date is typically set during the engagement period and the families help to work out all of the details.
Fifteen days before the wedding, the parents of the bride and groom begin the Barni Band-hwana — a ritual in which a piece of thread ties the hands of the bride and groom together. Not only is this ritual symbolic of the union between the bride and the groom, but it is also the family’s way of asking for a blessed wedding day.
The Mayra
Indian culture focuses on familial relationships and the importance of being there for one another. This is especially important when it comes to wedding ceremonies and preparations for them. During the Mayra, the bride-to-be’s maternal uncle brings gifts for the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom. Often, the maternal uncle gifts the mothers the dresses that they will end up wearing to the wedding ceremony.
Sangeet
Sangeet is a ceremony that takes place at the bride’s home before the wedding day. It serves as an opportunity for relatives and friends of the bride and groom to get to know each other better before they become connected as a family. It’s an important tradition and is a crucial part of Indian and Hindu pre-wedding traditions.
Sangeet typically involves singing and dancing and it’s always a fun time for the bride and groom, as well as their friends and family. It’s a great opportunity for both sides of the new family to get to know one another better. Each side of the family performs songs and sometimes there’s even a talent competition between the families!
Mehndi
Mehndi is a ritual that involves applying henna to the bride’s hands and feet. This is believed to ward off any evil spirits and many believe that it helps increase the chances of fertility. Stronger henna is believed to lead to a stronger bond between newlyweds and darker henna is believed to improve the relationship between the bride-to-be and her mother-in-law. Typically, the bride-to-be has to wait 8 hours for the henna to dry and to achieve the best results.
Haldi
On the morning of the wedding, the bride, the groom and their respective families all take part in the haldi ceremony. This ceremony involves the family members taking turns applying a yellow paste made of turmeric to the bride and groom’s face and arms as a symbol of good fortune and blessings.
Turmeric is a common ingredient in Indian cuisine and it’s the primary ingredient in haldi. Haldi is known to possess anti-inflammatory, antiseptic, healing and beautifying properties, which make it the perfect way to cleanse the bride-to-be for her wedding day.
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The Wedding Day
Weddings are a huge celebration in Indian culture, and the wedding day has a lot of moving parts with different customs and traditions all taking place.
The Groom’s Procession
At most American weddings, the groom makes a quick, quiet entrance into the ceremony and waits for the bride to arrive. However, at Indian weddings, the groom’s arrival is seen as a very important thing, and it’s celebrated with a procession and a mini-parade.
In fact, as the guests arrive at the ceremony, they will be broken up into the bride’s side and the groom’s side. Everyone who came for the groom will be taken back to join the procession as he arrives. The mini-parade is typically accompanied by dancing and music and there’s even a special rice toss.
Prayer to Ganesha
Most of the time, the wedding ceremony begins with a prayer to Ganesha. The Hindu goddess of beginnings, good fortune and overcoming obstacles, Ganesha is said to pave the way for newlyweds. At Indian weddings, it’s important to have Ganesha’s blessings on the union.
The prayer to Ganesha is usually accompanied by a gotra, which is the recitation of both the bride and groom’s lineage, going back several generations. Historically, this was a crucial part of the ceremony since members of the same clan were not allowed to marry.
Jai Mala
In Indian culture, the wedding is not seen as complete unless the couple has performed the jai mala. During this ritual, the bride places a garland of flowers around the groom’s neck and vice versa. This seemingly simple tradition symbolizes the fusion of the newlyweds as well as their families.
The Mandap
At Indian weddings, the ceremony takes place almost exclusively under something called a mandap, a large arch or canopy with flowers and curtains. The mandap is usually decked out with gorgeous flowers and is quite a sight to behold.
Each mandap has four pillars, which represent the parents of the bride and groom. Typically, a small fire is lit underneath the mandap. It’s contained in a small dish for safety, but many believe that the Hindu god of fire, Agni, sustains and gives life. So many Indian couples will light a fire at their wedding as a gesture of hope for their new lives together.
Saptapadi
Saptapadi is a ritual performed during most Northern Indian wedding ceremonies, and it involves the bride and groom’s garments being tied together as a symbol of unity. Typically, the bride’s veil is tied to the groom’s sash.
Sometimes, the bride and groom will take seven steps together during the saptapadi, and the main reason for this ritual is to establish a friendship between the bride and the groom. Friendship in a marriage is considered one of the most important parts of a successful and blessed union.
Each of the seven steps that the couple takes together represents a specific blessing that they are requesting for their marriage:
- Step One: This step represents the couple being blessed with all of the resources that they will need and that they will be able to help one another in every way.
- Step Two: The second step is in hopes that the couple will mentally, physically and emotionally grow together in a way that allows them to complement each other.
- Step Three: The third step that the couple takes together is a request for financial and monetary blessings through the correct means. It’s a hope for prosperity.
- Step Four: The fourth step is a request that the couple will be able to gain peace and harmony together through mutual love, respect and loyalty.
- Step Five: The fifth step that the couple takes is for their children. Taking this step together is believed to bring about happy, confident and healthy children.
- Step Six: This penultimate step is a request that the marriage will be happy and long-lasting. It’s in the hopes that the relationship will be a happy one together.
- Step Seven: The seventh step is the couple acknowledging their friendship and love for one another.
Each of the steps has its own specific meaning and each of them is crucial and an important part of Indian wedding ceremonies. This tradition is an invaluable part of the ceremony, and no Indian wedding would be complete without the seven steps and what they represent.
Talambralu
Rice is a huge part of Indian culture, in the cuisine, lifestyle and traditions, as well. In talambralu, the bride and the groom shower each other with a mixture of rice, turmeric, saffron and sometimes pearls.
The tradition symbolizes happiness, prosperity and fertility for the newlyweds. Since the bride and groom cover each other with the rice mixture, it’s often a very funny tradition with the bride and groom having a wide range of reactions. This tradition adds a few laughs to what is otherwise a pretty serious ceremony.
Sindoor
In sindoor, the part in the bride’s hair is painted with a red powder. This tradition signifies that the bride is now married and that she has fully transitioned into this new period in her life. But the bride is not the only one who participates in sindoor. If they would like, all married women at the ceremony may also cover their part with the red powder to signify their marital status.
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Joota Chupai
The tradition of jotta chupai is a long-standing one and is incredibly popular at Indian weddings. For this custom, female relatives of the bride will actually steal the groom’s shoes after he takes them off. At Indian weddings, it’s customary for the groom to remove his shoes before approaching the mandap.
After they steal the groom’s shoes, the bride’s female relatives hide the shoes and then hold them for ransom. When the groom needs his shoes, the bride’s female relatives charge the groom a small ransom to get them back. This harmless prank is a great tradition and a fun way to welcome the groom into the family.
Mangala Sutra
During the ceremony, the groom will often drape the mangala sutra around the bride’s neck. A beautiful necklace made of black and gold beads, the mangala sutra is said to appeal to Lakshmi — the Hindu goddess of wealth and prosperity. Adorning the bride with the mangala sutra is believed to increase good luck and good fortune and is said to bring blessings to the marriage.
The Wedding Reception
Since weddings are seen as such huge celebrations in Indian culture, the reception reflects that. It’s usually filled with food and fun for everyone involved, and the meal is often extensive. Typically, the menu has up to ten different appetizers and five main entrees, plus yogurt, salad, rice and naan bread. The food continues to be replenished all through the night as people eat, dance and have fun.
Bou Bhat
The day after the wedding, a ritual known as Bou Bhat takes place. Close family members of the bride and the groom will come over to the couple’s house for lunch, where they will formally welcome the bride into their family. The groom promises to always provide the bride with food and clothing. And to honor his promise, he serves her food and gives her a new sari.
A Few Tips for Your First Indian Wedding
There are several customs, traditions and expectations that go along with Indian weddings. If you are unfamiliar with the culture, you may not know exactly what to do or expect at an Indian wedding. Here are a few key things to remember and expect when you go to your first Indian wedding:
Dress with modesty
While most Indian weddings do not implement a specific dress code, it’s important to respect the expectations of modesty. Make sure that you wear something that covers your knees and shoulders, and be respectful of what other people are wearing.
Be prepared for a long wedding
Indian weddings are huge celebrations that can last for days. It’s important to know that beforehand so you aren’t surprised when the partying doesn’t stop.
Read about the customs and traditions before you go
Indian weddings have a lot of intricate, long-standing traditions and customs, and each of them is heavily symbolic. If you take the time to learn about them before the wedding, you’ll be able to appreciate them more while you’re there.
Eat the food that is offered to you
Food is a huge part of the wedding celebration, and not eating can make you seem rude or ungrateful. Make sure to be a pleasant guest and eat the food that is given to you.
Don’t try to dance with the bride.
At an Indian wedding, it is not customary for the bride to dance with any of the guests other than her husband. Even if you know her very well, asking the bride to dance at her wedding would be seen as improper and even offensive.
Ask before you take pictures
While taking pictures at Indian weddings is normally perfectly fine, taking photographs during certain parts of the ceremony is discouraged as it can be distracting. Make sure that it’s allowed to take pictures before you start snapping photographs.
Frequently Asked Questions
Are Indian Weddings Big or Small?
Indian weddings are typically extremely large, with guest lists that easily reach 400 people. However, it’s important to pay close attention to your invitation to see if you’ve been allowed a plus one or not. If you were not given a plus one, then bringing a guest would be considered very rude.
What Does the Bride Wear at an Indian Wedding?
While American brides traditionally wear a long white dress, most Indian brides wear a bright red sari or lengha during their ceremony. The richness and vibrancy of the color symbolize fertility and commitment. Often, the bride’s sari has intricate floral patterns or gold embroidery on it as well.
What Do Guests Wear to Indian Weddings?
While there is no set dress code for guests at an Indian wedding, guests are encouraged to wear bright, vibrant colors to match the decorations. Indian weddings are replete with incredibly ornate colors and decorations, so the guests are encouraged and sometimes expected to honor that. Colors like bright blue, mint green, bright pink and vibrant orange are all great choices to wear to an Indian wedding.
However, there are some colors that are typically off-limits for guests of an Indian wedding to wear. Since the bride typically wears red, guests should avoid wearing red as a sign of respect. It’s similar to western wedding guests avoiding wearing white to a wedding out of respect for the bride.
Are There Gifts at Indian Weddings?
Yes, the bride and groom receive gifts at Indian weddings. It’s a great way to show the bride and groom how much you love and appreciate them. Money is one of the most popular gifts for newlyweds at Indian weddings. Northern Indian cultures regard the practice of giving money to the bride and groom very highly and most give the money in a custom paper envelope known as a Paiso Ka Lifafa.
Silver is also an acceptable and well-regarded wedding gift because many believe that silver brings the couple good fortune and good luck.
What is an Appropriate Amount of Cash to Give as a Gift at an Indian Wedding?
Of course, the appropriate amount of cash to give as a gift at an Indian wedding varies by guest. If you’re especially close to the bride or the groom, you’ll likely give more money than most of the other guests. However, it’s important to note that monetary gifts in Indian culture should never end with a 0. Most of the time, the amount of money will end in 1, with amounts like $51, $71 and $101 being some of the most common.
What are Indian wedding Venues?
Since Indian weddings tend to be so large (with usually 300-500 people in attendance), Indian weddings must be at venues that can accommodate large groups. This can sometimes make it difficult to find a good venue, and a lot of Indian weddings take place outside — especially if the mandap is too big to be taken indoors.
Why do Indian Brides Not Wear White?
In western culture, brides tend to wear beautiful white gowns to their weddings. However, in Indian culture, white is seen as a color of mourning, so an Indian bride would never wear it to her wedding. Instead, Indian brides wear bright, beautiful colors on their traditional saris — the most popular of which is red.
What is Henna?
As we mentioned earlier, the bride often gets henna tattoos before her big day. Henna tattoos are incredibly intricate temporary tattoos. The dye is made from the Lawsonia inermis plant and when applied, it stains the skin, leaving a tattoo-like impression. Henna tattoos typically last around two weeks before they begin to fade.
Is Alcohol Served at Indian Weddings?
Traditionally, no alcohol is served at Indian weddings, especially if the families are more devout Hindus. This is especially true if the wedding ceremony takes place at a Hindu temple. However, more modern Indian weddings sometimes serve alcohol during the reception.
Who Pays For a Traditional Indian Wedding?
The costs of a traditional Indian wedding are commonly split between the couple and their parents. Most of the time, the couple and their parents split the costs 50/50. However, if the bride or groom’s parents insist on more food, a specific venue or extra guests, it is their responsibility to cover those costs.
Final Thoughts
Indian wedding celebrations are known for being large, beautiful affairs, and they have more than earned that reputation. The ceremonies and customs are steeped in long-standing beliefs and traditions. With an involved schedule of pre-wedding rituals, ornate decorations, long-standing traditions, incredible food and wedding celebrations that go on for days, Indian weddings are truly something to marvel at and admire.
Maybe you’re someone who’s never been to an Indian wedding and is curious about it. Or maybe you’ve been to several and just wanted to brush up on some of the customs and traditions. Either way, we hope you learned a lot and enjoyed this ultimate guide to Indian weddings!
Serena Lawrence
Serena & Dominic are a married couple and parents to 3 wonderful children. They plan weddings, run multiple small businesses, and curate wedding events.
By giving you everything you need to make your dream wedding attainable, you can eliminate stress, get the ‘wedding glow,’ and focus on spending this rocking day with the person you adore. Discover their podcast for more information
